Queen of the Giggle Loop

New blogs

2012-02-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all.

Just in case I still have a few followers on this place I wanted to let you know I have a couple new blogs that I will be updating far more than this one.

http://rantraveandrelish.tumblr.com/

http://communicatingwiththeoppositesex.tumblr.com/

Enjoy!

Blood, sweat and tears. An evening at Big Pink.

2010-06-15T22:00:00.000-07:00

Me (after weeping during an episode of McLoed’s Daughters): What is wrong with me? I’m pretty sure I’m the biggest crybaby ever!

Bridgette: No you’re not. Sean was making fun of me last weekend when a tear ran down my face during Shrek. Shrek-in 3D. Apparently the 3D glasses didn’t hide the tears.

Glee

2010-05-12T15:52:00.000-07:00

I have mixed feelings about Glee. I like the music and they have some great one liners, but all the drama between the characters is at times frustrating. And maybe that's because a lot of the drama is too closely related to current drama in my life and no I'm not pregnant or am I faking a pregnancy.

How come singles wards have to be as dramatic as high school? Who care if you're popular or who's dating each other! Grrr...I sometimes feel like Josie in Never Been Kissed-aren't I too old for this? Why are you gossiping like a school girl and acting like you're 16?

Anyway, back to the show.

Like in last night's episode entitled "Laryngitis", Rachel gets laryngitis and is afraid she be permanently scarred and will never sing again. For those of you that don't know, too bad and for those of you that do, this was a hard one to watch.

But.

The silver lining in the episode was that it was heavily Rachel-Finn related. Rachel reminds me of myself, except way less annoying, not as pretty or as chesty-but she does remind me of my high school self in that sense. And I like Finn, even though at times I want to strangle him for being such an idiot, but right now he's not being an idiot. He wants Rachel back and he's trying and you know it'll work eventually-she's in love with him. Anyway, he sang this song to her in the episode. Not normally my cup of tea. I'm not a super fan of the song, but right now I'm totally feeling it.

Mother’s Day the Pearce Family Way

2010-05-09T19:19:00.000-07:00

First, a lot of this:

Then some face time with one of these:

Watched a few movie trailers, including:

The good, the bad, and the weird-which actually looks kind of good; and

The Human Centipede, which I can’t quite tell if it’s meant to be a horror film or a comedy.

Then I treated my 17 year old sister like one of these:

Watched a little SNL and loved this skit (we heart Bill Hader ;D):

And then finally we left and I showered my amazing mother (who we now call “Lady Mama”-thanks Hannah) with these:

And these:

Happy Mother’s Day Lady Mama!! We love you!!!

I'm so sad I missed this. :(

2010-05-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

It was playing at the 5th this last month and I'm so sad I missed it. Here are a couple of my favorite songs.

Come up to my place, featuring my favorite musical Aussie-Adam Garcia:

Prehistoric Man-sorry embed was disabled:

Vamptastic Updates

2010-04-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

For those of you unaware I have a love for the show True Blood-which is weird, because honestly it's not a very good show, but whatever. I found out a few new things:

1. They are doing 6 new mini episodes starting May 2-yay! You all should know I can't wait until June!

2. My favorite on the show-Eric (Yay Team Eric!! LOL.) played by Alexander Skarsgard (yum) is dating Kate Bosworth. WTF? When did this happen? and

3. While researching if that was in fact true I found this article about how they were at Coachella-see Leah, I knew we should have gone!! Damn.

Sometimes, you just want to shoot something.

2010-04-05T14:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like her-I'm hot tempered, stubborn and can handle myself. Oh , but I can bake a pie.

But those qualities tend to leave one's score with 'em fellers lower than a cellar.

So I guess I'll put my pistols away for the time being and turn the other cheek.

This girl's a trip, but I like the song!

2010-04-02T19:21:00.001-07:00

It Makes No Difference

2010-03-30T20:40:00.000-07:00

When Whitney left on her mission, I'm pretty sure I cried myself to sleep for a month or two listening to this song. Partially because it's a great love loss song and it's impossible for me not to cry when listening to it, but also it so perfectly described my feelings in that moment. I felt SO alone. We used to joke about how I was Whitney's barnacle, but I really was. I wasn't independent and unless she was around I wasn't outgoing socially. This may be a complete shock to some of you, but I'm kind of a shy person and in some ways when she left I reverted back to the shy girl I was before we were friends.

Then I got better; I realized that a year and a half really wasn't that long, I was capable of making friendships equally as good as the one I have with her and being an independent person really wasn't all that hard.

But recently all of that has been harder for me to accept and maybe it's because I miss my little Whitneykins and I know she'll be back soon, but for some reason this song is speaking to me once again.

A quick side note, I really wish I could have found a clip that started a minute before, because the story told at the beginning of this clip is probably my favorite part of this whole movie. Oh high Rick Danko-you were magic!

Top Ten Songs Currently Addicted To

2010-03-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

10. Rihanna - Disturbia

9. Louis Prima - Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody

8. Regina Spektor - Fidelity

7. Justin Townes Earle - Someday I'll Be Forgiven For This

6. Nerina Pallot - I Don't Want To Go Out

5. Lily Allen – 22 & F*** You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWjNFC-FinU

4. The Kills - Sour Cherry

3. Grace Potter and the Nocturnals - Treat Me Right

2. Lady Gaga – Bad Romance (Big Surprise?)

1. Metric - Combat Baby (acoustic)

Best story this weekend

2010-03-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

Prepare yourself for a sweetness overload.

Over the weekend I got to see my cousin Molly and her daughter Bess, who is quite possibly the cutest girl I have ever met. Don't believe me? Well then here's a picture:

Adorable, no?

Anyway, back to the story. Molly told me about a conversation she had with Bess a couple weeks after seeing me at Christmas, which took place while watching some sort of dancing show:

Bess: I could never dance like that....but Sarah could.

Molly: Sarah who?

Bess: My Sarah.

Molly: You mean my cousin Sarah?

Bess: No, my cousin Sarah.

I almost died when she told me this. How sweet is that? "my Sarah". I've never been owned by a child before, but she's so adorable I really don't mind.

Another obligatory Bess shot:

She's so Rockstar!

Always be wary of how you dress for work.

2010-03-18T16:25:00.000-07:00

In the past few years my attractiveness has increased exponentially and I’ve had to alter my dress for work accordingly. I never wear high heels or skirts anymore (brings far too much attention to the gams) and I rarely wear jewelry, accessories or super form fitting/low cut tops (for…ahem…a similar reason).

Today, I wore a pink headband with an embellished flower on one side. This was a mistake.

So, there’s a guy that works on my floor that kind of gives me the creeps (not full creeps, just partial) and I’m sure he was just trying to be nice, but it still left me feeling weird.

Let me set the stage, an attractive girl with pretty flower in her hair (that’s me!) walks down the hall towards the bathroom. A mildly creepy man, that is FAR too old for the attractive girl rounds the hallway corner and says:

“Oh hey! You look very pretty with that bow in your hair!”

The attractive girl stumbles through some gracious reply and leaves the hall.

Sometime later the two have another chance meeting in the hall where the mildly creepy man mutters:

“Pretty in Pink!”

The attractive girl stumbles through some gracious reply and leaves the hall, but thinks to herself:

“Thank you, we've established that I'm pretty, but please just go away and leave me alone!”

And

“DO NOT WEAR FLASHY THINGS TO THE OFFICE ANYMORE!”

*Curtain*

Jessica the Happy Hippo

2010-03-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

Only in South Africa-props to Priscilla!

Trifecta night out and new nicknames

2010-03-16T16:31:00.000-07:00

Me: (something bitchy beyond belief) Ugh! Can we just get food now!?!

Leah: Yes, gosh you’re bitchy when you haven’t eaten. You’re like the little shop of horrors plant yelling “FEED ME!!”

Bridgette: That should be you’re nickname!

Me: No!

Leah: Yes!! That’s awesome!

Bridgette: Hey you guys, it’s not “Little Shop of Horrors” it should be “Little Shop of Whores”! Get it? It’s like a pun!

(Sometime Later)

Bridgette: Sarah, would you sell me in your shop?

Me: Of course!!

Bridgette: Good.

Me: Hey, it shouldn’t be “Little Shop of Whores” it should be “Shop of Little Whores” ‘cause we’re tiny!

In Unison: Ahhh yeeaaahhh!!!

(Trifecta Fist bump)

Fin

Working With Mormons

2010-03-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you work with other Mormons:FHE is put on the Shared Office Calendar. Geez.

What firefighters do when no one's looking

2010-03-15T11:15:00.001-07:00

I love finding random things with friends on the interweb. Have to give mad props to Cher for finding this one-totally the pick me up I needed last night. ;D Loves!

Beyonce & Lady Gaga Phone Songs

2010-03-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

One I like:

One I don't:

Conversations of late

2010-03-14T18:21:00.000-07:00

Me: How do I get in these situations?

Princess Leia: You’re too nice, everyone else just says no!

CocaKoler: Better Bitch than sorry. That’s my motto.

CW: All the boys here and at the UW that I’ve talked to have told me all they’re looking for is a girl that dresses modest and isn’t “scary”.

Me: Well I guess that puts me out of the running.

Princess Leia: Wait, what exactly did he say? Any punctuation or anything?

Me: No punctuation, but the “D” is capitalized.

CocaKoler: Oh, well then if the “D” is capitalized that changes everything…..no, I have no idea.

Princess Leia: He was like “Wait, what did that guy want?” and I wanted to be like “to have sex with Sarah”.

Me: Does anyone mind if I take my skirt off in the car?

Princess Leia: Well if you’re sitting next to Marky-Mark and the Funky Bunch…

Me: Well then I can sit in the front.

Marky-Mark and the Funky Bunch: Hey!

All: Oooh, Mark!

Happy Pi Day!!

2010-03-14T18:09:00.001-07:00

Yum! Celebrating Pi day by eating blackberry pie and watching Pushing Daisies is the bestest! :D

I adore this show.

2010-03-11T18:31:00.000-08:00

I don't know what made me think of this scene today, but it randomly popped into my head and it made me remember how much I love this show! Enjoy.

Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves

2010-03-04T07:54:00.000-08:00

How can you not be pumped for the day when you listen and watch this in the morning?? I'm pretty sure this is going to be an awesome day!

Pretty sure this explains why things never work out for me.

2010-03-01T20:08:00.000-08:00

Watch 7:16-7:33-it illustrates my point. Every time I get close to a guy I run away. When I was 14 a boy I liked asked me to dance, I said "no" and literally ran away from him....like out of the building. Things really haven't changed in the 10+ years since that dance.

I break guys’ hearts.

I don't mean to, there's nothing malicious in my doings-I just get scared or self-conscious and run away. Which in the end really only hurts me. ‘Cause all those guys I run away from, while they might be hurt for a time, they always find someone else. And I’m left sitting by myself with a pile of missed opportunities.

But there comes a time in a girl’s life when a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And this girl’s going to stand still and not run anymore.

This is how I like to eat my cool mint Oreos:

2010-02-23T19:19:00.000-08:00

Three Stories High!

Smile Worthy Conversations

2010-02-16T19:47:00.000-08:00

Princess Leia: Those shorts are a little short-I can see your ass cheeks, especially when you stick your butt out.
CocaKoler: Wait! Are you wearing underwear?

CocaKoler: The names for female body parts are so pretty. If I didn’t know what “Vagina” meant I’d totally name my daughter that.

(CherBear shows off her bum bum)
CocaKoler: Can I tap that?
CherBear: Uh….no, but you can touch it.
(five minutes later)
CocaKoler: Wait, does “tap that” mean something besides tapping it with my hand? (brief pause followed by awkward silence and then hysterical laughter) oh….hahaha….never mind.

CocaKoler: He’s a pretty popular midget.
Me: No, he’s a dwarf, (points to itty bitty) she’s a midget.
Itty Bitty: Did you just point to me?
Me: Yes. (laughs)
Itty Bitty: Hey!! (Squats a little lower and then in a slightly higher octave) Hey!!

Baird Lennion or Lars B: I hate being the only guy there that doesn’t know a song.
Princess Leia: I didn’t know it.
Baird Lennion or Lars B: Yeah, but you’re not a man.
Princess Leia: Right.
Me: And soon I won’t be.
Princess Leia: Right.
(Awkward silence)
Princess Leia: I don’t think Lars gets the joke.
Me: Just a little transgender joke….no, don’t worry Lars-I’m all woman.
Princess Leia: I’m pretty sure he was worried about that.
Me: Well you never know-I don’t want any rumors started.
Princess Leia: Yeah, Lars is really into starting rumors about people.
Me: (Lars impression) “Hey everyone, guess what I just heard? Sarah used to be a man!”….No, I don’t think people would believe it anyway.
Baird Lennion or Lars B: Yeah, I wouldn’t buy it.

Grammy Awards 2010

2010-02-09T15:53:00.000-08:00

I know this was a week or so ago, but I found a couple pictures of the evening’s attire and I have to comment.

I Gleefully post this picture of Lea Michele and pronounce her “best dressed” of the evening. She’s adorable.

Can anyone tell me what happened to Miley Cyrus’ face?

Word to the wise: Never go to the same plastic surgeon as Fergie. Nothing good can come from it!

I am SO digging Katy Perry’s hair, I want to “Betty Page” my mine too! By the way, this dress only looks halfway cute from the back. Very disappointing Katy!

Oh Lady Gaga. Why do you have to be the most ridiculously dressed person ever? I keep defending you to all my friends who think you’re an ugly freak, but if you keep dressing like this I can’t! I love your music, you’re a very talented singer and dancer, but this can’t go on.

And last, but certainly not least: Beyonce. Here’s a clip of her Grammy performance. She AMAZES me-next time she tours here I’m going! I’m so gonna learn that awesome dance move at 4:45. Might get whiplash though. ;D

Betty Grable Gams

2010-02-08T15:33:00.000-08:00

The gorgeous Betty Grable, known for her great gams.

I adore my legs; obviously, I wouldn’t put them as my blog picture if I didn’t. I also love pinups, if I had been born in the 20-30’s I would have been one, which is why last Saturday I wore these fabulous shorts to a party.

Purchased at Forever 21 a few weeks ago. On a side note, I’m loving the Rockabilly section at the “21 always”, it makes me want to dye my hair black and get a few tattoos. Anyway, back to my story. Last night Allen wrote on my wall about a conversation he had with another girl at the party. It went as follows:

Girl: Is that a skirt or shorts?
Allen: shorts.
Girl: (long pause while judging you) they are pretty short aren't they?
Allen: well when you have Sarah's legs you're allowed. It's in the bible.
Girl: (longer pause while judging me) Could I pull off shorts like that?
Allen: No. Only Sarah can pull off shorts like that.

There are so many parts of this dialogue that I love. First, all the judging-I know I’m not the most modest girl, but I’d rather be naked so they’re lucky I’m as covered as I am. Second, the bible bit-I must have missed that part. And lastly, the fact that Allen told some girl that she didn’t have nice enough legs to wear those shorts. I know it’s mean, but it still made me laugh-a lot.

On a completely different subject, while looking for a picture of those fabulous shorts I ran into this!!

Oh sequined bodysuit, you will be mine!

Things said this past week that have made me laugh

2010-02-04T16:03:00.000-08:00

PH: Cheerio all!

ME: No Priscilla if you want to be taken seriously as a citizen you have to start talking like and American.

PH: Ah, no man! Cheerio, see you in the morning. Goodnight Thomas. Oh, Thomas...how do you say your name in American?

TY: Thomas.

PH: Oh.....it's the same. I thought it was going to be something weird like "Toe-moss".

ME: Oh look Leah we're driving by so and so's house (name has been omitted for privacy purposes). Hey Blankety Blank!!

Both: F*** you!!! (Flips off building).

ME: So, I saw Cherilyn...she's got some color and her hair is blonder.

MA & PB: Yeah?

ME: Ugh, I was looking at pictures from the summer and I was so much darker then!

PB: Really??

ME: Uh...yeah...

PB: Really?? Your hair gets darker in the sun?

ME: Uh...no...but my skin does.

PH: (While playing with my hair) You should wear you hair up more. You have such a lovely neck and you're hiding it behind all this hair.

The Great Debate: Accordion-Cool or Uncool?

2009-12-18T10:10:00.000-08:00

For the past few months I’ve had a disagreement with a friend over whether playing the accordion is in fact cool or not. While I am pro accordion playing, my friend, who shall remain nameless, is not. Here are a few videos that I think prove my point-that the art of playing the accordion is cool.

And my personal favorite:

Note to reader-While I find accordion playing to be fun, energetic and a true talent, which makes it cool, in no way is it sexy. Not even if a gorgeous man is playing it.

A Year in A Fine Frenzy Lyrics

2009-12-15T13:52:00.000-08:00

One, two, three
Counting out the signs we see
The tall buildings
Fading in the distance
Only dots on a map
Four, five, six
The two of us a perfect fit
You're all mine, all mine

And all I can say
Is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree
Hiding out behind the leaves
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me
Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece
I was difficult to see
But you picked me
Yeah you picked me

'Cause you give me the electric twist and it kicks and it kicks like a pony
And true, you might run away with it, it's a risk it's a risk yeah
Because it kicks yeah
It really kicks yeah

And the touch of your lips it's a shock not a kiss
It's electric twist, it's electric twist

And the touch of your lips it's a shock not a kiss
It's electric twist, it's electric twist

He says don't think don't talk Don't think
Don't think don't talk
But I don't think I want to

‘Cause you give me the electric twist and it kicks and it kicks yeah

We planted our kisses where the wild berries grow
My feet sprouted wings and I flew all the way home

My cheeks red like fire engines racing
Straight to the heat of your skin
And I know our days are numbered,
Early bird of the summer
You’ll fly south just as the fall begins

Blame a change of mind
A seismic shift in times
They told us not to fight
But we'll fight it till we die

‘Cause we are not frightened anymore,
We stood up, we stood up

And they fought hard, but somewhere fighting failed
They're all shook up, they're all shook up
All shook up

Counting stars and passing cars
On the interstate
The end is near I feel it dear,
But I am not afraid

Step, step right over the line
And onto borrowed time
When it's life, not waiting to die
Waiting to divide to divide

But you say you're getting tired
You're tired and so am I
When you follow from behind

Quick kid quick, so harsh and cynical
Touches stricken, cold and clinical
What a transformation to behold
But I don't like this new, I want the old

It's not the words that make it final
You've said such things before to rival them
But it's how you say 'em now that's changed
Cold but sympathetic all the same

It's all to convince me that I'll be better off
So you go on and I'll be happier,
You go on and I'll be happier
You go on, yeah, you go on
You'll be gone and I'll be happier

Say what you mean, what you mean
‘Cause you'll be happier without me, without me, without me, oh

You go on, and I'll be happier

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images
No
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Oh Good Lord Above

2009-10-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

I'm immune to the love of a good man.
I go for the suckers, those mean motherf*uckers I can't resist.
If I should get bitten. As long as he's smitten I understand.
That pain comes with pleasure; such bittersweet treasure cannot be missed.

I hope I look as hot for Halloween as she does.

2009-10-28T15:25:00.000-07:00

That Alyssa Malano, she’s sexy AND adorable. That’s quite the feat. ;D

I Love A Fine Frenzy!

2009-10-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

Quick kid quick, so harsh and cynical
Touches stricken, cold and clinical
What a transformation to behold
But i don't like this new, i want the old

It's not the words that make it final
You've said such things such things before to rival them
But it's how you say 'em now that's changed
Cold but sympathetic all the same

Lie to convince me that i'll be better off
Oh, you go on and i'll be happier, i'll be happier
You go on, yeah, you go on
You'll be gone and i'll be happier

Shoot me with your rubber bullets
Your finger's on the trigger, pull it
I know you want this suffering to end
So it is forgivable my friend

It's all to convince me that i'll be better off
So you go on and i'll be happier,
You go on and i'll be happier
You go on, yeah, you go on
You'll be gone and i'll be happier

Bo-bo-ba-do-bo
Bo-bo-ba-do-bo-da-da-da

Say what you mean, what you mean
Cause you'll be happier without me, without me, without me, oh

You won't convince me, that i'll be better off
So you go on and i'll be happier, i'll be happier
You go on, you go
You'll be gone, and i'll be gone
You go on and i'll be happier, you go on and i'll be happier
You go on, you go on, you go on and i'll go on and i'll be happier
You on and i'll be happier, you go on and i'll be happier

You go on, and i'll be happier

June 2010

2009-09-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

Oh June 2010 why can't you come sooner? That's when the third season of True Blood starts and I'm not sure I can wait that long, because I'm in heart with Alexander Skarsgård and I need my Eric fix.

Something I've realized.

2009-09-13T01:58:00.000-07:00

"There's not a lot that I am good at. But I'm good at getting guys to want me. Not date me, or marry me, but want me. " -Sunshine Cleaning

My favorite so far.

2009-09-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

I got this email from my favorite site this morning and it is totally the best I’ve ever received!

“Ok though, seriously, you are just the cutest little thing I've ever seen :) I need to put you in my pocket and carry you around with me all day :)”

Hahaha!
I dig guys that appreciate my tininess and adorableness!

GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it! Someone deleted me as a friend on facebook-the worst part, they didn't delete Leah. Nice. I am SO pissed! I'm kind of like the Hulk (only cuter) you really don't want to get me angry-that little f***er's going to pay!

Stolen from Julie-thanks Julie for making me giggle…a lot!

2009-08-24T17:12:00.000-07:00

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,and you can wear them forever.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl/guy, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

How many is too many?

2009-08-24T16:28:00.000-07:00

How many versions of the same song on iTunes is the maximum a greedy person should have?

Well, if they didn’t produce so many versions (and remixes) this wouldn’t be a problem and I wouldn’t need to ask!

Uh, I have a question.

2009-08-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

Me: Uh, then how come guys at church aren't asking me out?
EQ Representative: Because second base is off limits to the Elders Quorum.

The next night talking with the girls....

Me: But that doesn't answer my question!
Leah & Bridgette: Uh, yes it does!

Fun with Cherilyn

2009-08-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

I may not have boyfriends, but I’m sure glad I have girlfriends! Cherilyn invited us to go out with her on her cousin’s boat last Saturday and it was (to quote Julie) hecka fun! I only brought my phone so the pictures aren’t that great.Leah, on a boat! Cherilyn and her fierce wakeboarding skillz! Leah’s first time wakeboarding and she got up after her fourth try! My favorite picture from the day, I think Cher looks so cute!More family, little Trinity was in the middle of saying “Orange Flag” for the 90th time. She was pretty adorable though. I didn’t do any wakeboarding, but I did go out in the tube with Leah, so not a complete wimp. See!
After we went back to Rob’s and awaiting us were two huge bouquets of gorgeous flowers, I feel so spoiled. Next up, our turn to spoil Cherilyn. We took her out on the town to get our “Bollygrooves” on and to celebrate India’s Independence at The Crocodile. After getting us all in for free (yes, I am that cool) we snagged a table in the balconyand watched as everyone started shuffling in. Eventually I couldn't stand it any longer and I had to get up and dance and then went down to the dance floor and cut a rug by my lonesome (like usual and how it will always be), but it was ok because this gorgeous Indian woman told me I was “way sexy”. :D After that the Henna artist came and gave us all free tats! :D It was totally awesome! Cherilyn Leah Me A perfect end to a perfect day, thanks Cher!

Video, video, video!

2009-08-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

I posted some videos from the last few months on youtube (because facebook won't let me)-enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/sarahannepearce

Much too, much too, much too much!

2009-08-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

That’s me; I’m “too much”.

For the past year or so I’ve had countless men tell my girlfriends or me that I’m “too much”. What the hell does that mean?

For the longest time I took it as an insult, which it was probably meant to be-insecure guys can be douchebags*. It was said as if I was the one in the wrong; I had too much personality and verve for those guys (spun with a negative connotation) and they couldn’t “handle” it and I’m ashamed to admit, tears were shed as a result**. No one likes being told that, but I’ve come to realize that the deficiency lies with them not me and it should be taken as a compliment not an insult.

I am too much for these guys. I have too much personality, spunk, sass, intelligence, talent and am definitely too sexy for them. It’s no wonder most guys that I meet or know don’t ask me out.

Now I’m not trying to be vain, I have insecurities about my attractiveness just like all girls (even hot girls need to be told they're hot). In fact for the past week I have been in a depressed mood brought about by some comments made by someone that has exaggerated (in my own mind) my own physical inadequacies. Some things I cannot change, but thanks to Leah and listening to a little AC/DC I have learned that being “too much” is a blessing. Take a look at the lyrics to “Touch too Much”:

It was one of those nights
When you turned out the lights
And everything comes into view
She was taking her time I was losing my mind
There was nothing that she wouldn't do
It wasn't the first
It wasn't the last
She knew we was making love
I was so satisfied
Deep down inside
Like a hand in a velvet glove
CHORUS: Seems like a touch, a touch too much
Seems like a touch, a touch too much
Too much for my body, too much for my brain
This kind of woman's gonna drive me insane
She's got a touch, a touch too much
She had the face of an angel
Smiling with sin
A body of Venus with arms
Dealing with danger
Stroking my skin
Let the thunder and lightning start
It wasn't the first
It wasn't the last
It wasn't that she didn't care
She wanted it hard
And wanted it fast
She liked it done medium rare
CHORUS
Seems like a touch, touch too much
You know it's much too much, much too much
I really want to feel your touch too much
Girl you know you're getting me much too much
Seems like a touch
Just a dirty little touch
I really need your touch
Cause you're much too much too much too much

I might be “too much” for most guys, but why would I want most guys? I’m blessed; someday I will find a man that can “handle” me. Can handle my personality and can keep up with my energy, can handle the stares and jealousy from other men and can handle my wit and talents instead of being insecure by them. I won’t be “too much” for him-I will be just right and because of that, he will be extraordinary.

*Julie, not the person that told you, it was said with no animosity towards me.
**Note to reader, I feel it all. You know like the Feist song, I truly do feel it all. Emotions come easy for me, and with that-crying. Now I’m not some big baby wailing at the drop of a hat, but purging your negative (or positive) feelings through tears is very cathartic. I once even cried on command in effort to create a better final for my Sign Language class. I signed “You Were Mine” by the Dixie Chicks and half way through shed those show stopping tears. It did create the added “oomph” to my performance, but also caused much concern from my teacher who thought I had been greatly scorned by some boy. Not the case, I’m just a good actress.

Linkup re: Swedish Guy

2009-08-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

Remember this guy?
Well I got another email from him over the weekend. It went a little something like this:

Subject: I just moved to Seattle area, friends?
Hello there!

I just wanted to say hi and how are you? Hope your weekend is awesome and that you are having fun. I thought you seemed really fun and cool, so I figured I would send you a message. Also, of course, I am interested in getting to know more about you! Isnt this internet thing a blast?

Anyway, I am a pretty chill guy, l am a HOOT to hang out with, and I love sports. Looking to make some friends on here, and hey, why not you?? I was born and raised in Sweden, have been all over Europe and also in the US by now. Love to travel! Anyway, if you are up for it, write me back, I would like to think that you wont regret it.

Talk to you later???

AHHHAHHHAHHAHHHAHHHHAHHHHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Why won’t he leave me alone?? I think I might email him back and tell him I have a boyfriend, or better yet that I’m engaged. Maybe then he’ll leave me alone.

My two favorite Saturday activities:

2009-08-08T21:57:00.000-07:00

The Beach:
and Gelato:
Unfortunatly, I couldn't enjoy them on the same Saturday. The weather today was a little nippy to go and sit at the beach, but I enjoyed a nice walk around Greenlake and some gelato with Leah. A chill Saturday (in more ways than one) but awesome none the less.

I'm pretty sure that

2009-08-07T18:17:00.000-07:00

Julie is the only one (save my mother) that reads my blog-so this one's for her.

Julie, we love and miss you and can't wait until the month is over when you will return home. Also, some shtuff (thank you Whitney!) has gone down (oh the gossip) and we need to talk, so when you get a chance please give me a call!

Loves!!! Oh, and I'm so happy you now play that Kanye remix in surgery!!! Addicting, yes? :D

Randomness from the past couple of weeks.

2009-07-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

-Raya had her baby-
A little girl they named Brynlee.

Raya, Ilee and Brynlee.

My favorite picture of the little squirt, she’s freakin’ hysterical! (Pictures stolen from Raya’s blog.)

-Note to self-
Posting pictures of me in short-shorts on Linkup, wasn’t the best idea ever. Although mostly amusing (I’ve had over 300 page views and over 40 emails in the last two days), it has also generated a few situations/emails that I could have done without. Take this one:

Gorgeous smile beautiful eyes and spectacular legs....looks like youve got the phyiscal traits...now what about personality wise...what are your favorite guilty pleasures and pasttimes? And whats something that most guys dont know about you? And what is one of the greatest traits you have?

Not horrible, although his lack of correct spelling and punctuation is a turn off-please if you have a computer and you’re emailing someone, you have the ability somewhere on said computer to use some sort of spell corrector or editor. Plus the fact that the email is written as if I’m being interviewed for a chance to be his girlfriend. Ain’t no way I’m sitting in an effing waiting room with 50 other women while some guy “chooses” from the lot. I’d rather be single! So, I didn’t email back because I rarely do email anyone back on that site. Not even a courtesy email, it just encourages them. Then a few hours later he sent me another email:

With a body like that i bet you are lookin for some action?? LOL.....hit me back

Excuse me? Did I read that correctly? Oh I’ll hit you-hit you with a restraining order you perv! What kind of rapist question is that? I’m so glad you don’t live anywhere close to me! Oh and by the way, you’ve been blocked!

-Kickin’ it with Julie has been amazing-
The past couple weeks we’ve moved all her stuff out of the storage unit and into the garage (okay I didn’t help with that, but yeah), went on a hike, went “swimming” at Juanita Beach (dear burnt woman on the beach-you’re done, get out of the sun!), various shopping outings (including craziness at Wal-Mart and inappropriate purchases just to make visitors of our house uncomfortable), watched the third season of Psych and had some kick ass conversations. I wish I could remember them all, because they were hilarious.

She keeps calling me a midget. The other day at Ross I was telling her how this apron that I was buying was actually a children’s apron and how weird that was. She told me it wasn’t and then compared me to a ten year old boy standing a few feet away and how there really wasn’t any difference in size. She’s crazy and I love it!

-I bought a Freakum Dress-
Okay, it’s not really a Freakum Dress and I will not be wearing it to my party even though I joked about it.

Mainly because I fill it out more than this girl. But it's cute and I plan to wear it dancing on Thursday. You should come!

-Sometimes when I’m in a meeting for more then three hours I get a little bored-
So I start to doodle and when someone in that meeting falls asleep they're fair game to draw.

Deborah said I couldn’t post it on facebook, but she said nothing about my blog. Hehehe. (Note to reader, I'm usually a better figure drawer then this. Please do not judge.)

You can look but you can't touch. Actually, I'd prefer if you didn't look either.

2009-07-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

Last night I learned two things, one:Layne doesn’t fit in Bridgette’s car.
And two:
Guys will hit on you even if you’ve gone to a club with a guy. Okay, I already knew the last one, but honestly sometimes I can’t believe what guys do. Here are a few examples.

A young man runs up beside me as I’m making the great trek up to 1st.
YM: Hello, how are you doing tonight?
Me: ….um, okay. How about you?
YM: Pretty good, I’m Joel by the way.
Me: Sarah.
YM: (Shakes my hand) nice to meet you Sarah.
Me: …you too.
YM: So, where are you going tonight?
Me: Del-Rey, you?
YM: (Mumbles something, presumably a club)
Me: …cool.
YM: So, we’re staying at the (insert hotel downtown)…..
YM’s friend: Joel shut up!

Everyone goes their separate ways. We get to Del-Rey (which by the way, kind of sucks now) and hit the dance floor to find it empty. But that’s okay because then you can take better pictures-right? Plus, that way everyone in the place can see your sweet dance moves!A little while later man came up to our group (after his previous attempt to drag Leah and Bridgette to his group while I was in the bathroom) on the dance floor, we'll call him Mr. Annoying.
MA: I'm going to join your group.
He dances for a few minutes and then grabs my arm and tries to spin me, but like usual I pull away.
MA: Hey, I just want to spin you!
Me: I'm really good without being spun.
Then as I was doing this:A man grabbed my arm and started pulling me away from the group.
Me: DON’T GRAB ME!!!!
Mr. Grabby: But I want you to dance with my friend.

Moral of the story: Bitch! You don’t touch me unless I ask you to touch me!!

Kinkup Craziness!

2009-07-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

So last night I received an email from this guy who has viewed my profile a bunch of times in the last year, but I don’t think has ever emailed me before.

Subject: I am visiting Washington State for about a week.....

and I thought it would be fun to meet a couple of people and hang out, do something fun while I am here. Would you consider saying hi at least? I love Seattle and just want to have a fun time while here. I am from Sweden and I am a great guy, fun, respectful, etc.

Super weird, right? I don’t know what to say back to him, and I think I would feel bad if I did respond.

Hey Meredith, let’s get a group together and meet this guy. One of us is bound to be interested, I mean he’s 38 and divorced, but we shouldn’t hold that against him. And from past experience, if a guy is interested in one of us, he’s probably interested in the other. ;D

Anyway, on a plus side, I’m pretty sure Mitt Romney viewed my profile.

Weird. Mitt, go home to your wife.

It’s not like you thought you were good-looking or anything. Oh you did? That’s so sweet!

2009-07-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

So, I was perusing msn, like I do, and I saw that Karolina Kurkova had announced that she was pregnant. Because she’s one of my favorite Victoria’s Secret models (probably because I always get her on the celebrity look-a-like site) I decided to look up some pictures of her and her fiancé, when I happened upon this blog:

http://www.foryourenrichment.com/2008/06/karolina-kurkova-gaining-weight.html

Excuse me?? I’m sorry; I can’t believe what I just read! First of all, this woman is pregnant! Secondly, even if she wasn’t, she’s hotter than any woman you could ever get and you have the audacity to say that she’s fat?

I think she looks good; the only thing that would make her hotter is if she had a bigger chest (‘cuz breasts are hot). Not only does she have a rockin’ body, she also has pretty face! She looks like a human, I’m terribly sorry if that's not in demand right now (how come you only hear about morbidly obese people and not the morbidly anorexic?). And I’m sorry, but “real men” like women that look like women, not women that look like little boys.

Mr. Brett, I think you should go home, take a long look in the mirror and next time be a little more realistic when critiquing one of the most beautiful women on the planet.

LDSLinkup Email

2009-07-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged about linkup for awhile, mainly because nothing interesting and/or hilarious has happened. Anyway, I got this email today, which made my day and pissed me off all at the same time. Note to reader, this man is from Sweden-just had to mention that because I have a fetish for foreign men.

"I guess I don't really know why I am writing, but I know I would regret if i didn't...
It is not often I see a woman like you!! That you are single is a miracle. You will make someone very happy one day!
Take care"

He makes an excellent point though-WHY AM I SINGLE???? Not, why am I not married, but why don’t I even have a frickin’ boyfriend? It doesn’t make any sense! Ugh!

This is really starting to piss me off.

And I would make someone really happy....bitch!

My favorite quotes from the past week.

2009-07-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

Standing in line at Dick’s at 1:00 in the morning after dancing with Renae at Neighbors:
Random guy standing behind us in line (RG): Hey, hey you? What’s your name?
Me: Sarah.
RG: Hi, I’m (can’t remember name) and this is my friend (can’t remember name).
Random Guy’s Friend (RG’sF) : Hello!
RG: And what’s your name?
Renae: Renae.
RG: Nice to meet you both. Hey Sarah, where are you from?
Me: Here…Seattle.
RG: Oh really, where did you go to High School?
Me: Roosevelt.
RG: Me too, what year did you graduate?
Me: 2002.
RG: 2002? Oh, you’re a youngin’. Where do you live now?
Sarah: Still here.
RG: Here? You live at the Dick’s Drive-in?
Sarah: Haha, yeah. No I live in North Seattle.
RG: North Seattle meaning??
Sarah: Lake City (I don’t feel bad telling people this because Lake City Way is very long and it would take them a great deal of time to track me down).
RG: Oh, okay. What are you two doing on Capital Hill then?
Renae: We went dancing at Neighbors.
RG & RG’sF: Oh…
RG: So you go there so guys don’t hit on you…unless you two are together.
Renae & I: Haha…no.
RG: So…how do you feel about getting hit on at Dicks?
(Renae and I look at each other and then order)
RG: Hey, Sarah I want you to meet my other friend.
Renae: Okay this is getting weird, we should go.

Random guys at Del-Rey:
“They shouldn’t let girls like you in to clubs, the guys can’t control themselves.”
“Wow, you can really dance to Beyonce!”

Dan at Gasworks on the 4th: She can shake it; she can shake it like she knows what she’s doing.

Hannah yelling at Anthony from the backseat on the way to my grandmother’s funeral: Stop hitting me, you’re going to give me a hematoma!

After my grandmother’s funeral and the luncheon but still in the banquet hall, my cousin Evan found his way up to the balcony.
Grandpa: Oh, it looks like Evan is going to give a speech.
Evan: “Four Score and Eleven Years Ago”
Molly (his sister): It’s seven.
Evan: Oh right. “Four Score and Seventeen Years Ago”

After frustrations at work Dan sent me this email.
“Don’t kill yourself. I’ll miss you.”

Deborah: I’m not a lawyer; I just work for one…on t.v.

Let me preface this last one by saying I occasionally see this guy in the hall at work, he works at the Engineering Firm across the hall and I have never spoken to him. He usually just nods his head, mumbles something and keeps walking, but this time it was all very awkward and hilarious.
Engineering Firm Guy (EFG): Hi!
Me: Oh, hi.
EFG: (mumbles something unintelligible)
Me: I’m sorry, what did you say?
EFG: How are you?
Me: Good…how are you?
EFG: Pretty good.
Me: That’s...good.

The Most Amazing Thing I've Seen This Week.

2009-07-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

According to Priscilla, this is exactly what the rains in Africa sound like.

Bonita "Bon" June Kilian

2009-07-08T11:31:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, Sunday the 28th of June my grandma passed away, on her 83rd birthday after suffering for several months with Pancreatic Cancer. (Photo of my grandma, Aunt Ella and her granddaughter Bess)

I think the very first memory I ever had was with my grandma. I remember sitting on the shore with her after my parents and grandpa went out fishing, sitting there on her lap-eating Oreos.

We went to her funeral in Anacortes this last Monday, which was beautiful. All of her children were present and my Aunt Ella gave the Eulogy (which I want to get and post on here). It was a really nice funeral and I’m sure she loved it, because her whole family was there, together.

(My Mom & Dad with parents at their wedding – July 28th, 1978)

Grandma, you will be missed.

In a Funk

2009-07-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

I’ve been in kind of a funk for the past week, getting rear ended and having my grandmother die (heartbreaking and am still in shock) all in the span of a couple hours hasn’t helped, but those aren’t the only reasons I feel out of wack. I think it started last Friday at girl’s night after watching “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Thank you Renae and Cherilyn for a lovely evening, but that movie might have screwed me up for life and if I vent about it then it just might make me feel better (at least in that regard). So here I go.

What I learned from the movie (at face value):
If you’re interested in a guy and you don’t look like a supermodel, he’s not interested. No matter how pretty, thin or clever you may be. Or how amazing your legs or breasts are. Or what a marvelous personality you may have. Even if he talks, flirts and pays particular attention to you, or gets your phone number (by any means necessary)-he’s not interested in you.

You will never be the exception-take everything a guy does at face value. No cryptic message decoding needed, what he says is what he means-don’t read into things!

You don’t intimidate him, if he wanted to date you, he would.

Men are douchebags.

Oh and if you have a figure (cough, cough…breasts) or would be described as “sexy”, you are an evil whore and will end up with no one. On the bright side, all the men will want you-not to date or marry you though, so there’s a downside.

What I learned from the movie (looking deeper):
Everyone is an exception to someone. You may be reading into things (generally speaking), but to the one that matters, you’re not. And although you have to go through a lot of crap along the way, it’s worth it. So keep overanalyzing things with your girlfriends until your head explodes because someday, you’ll be right!

Men are lazy.

Men are douchebags.

What I’ve been told (from the horse’s mouth, so it’s legit) by men:
I intimidate men (generally speaking, not all). As much as people would like to tell you that this is not a reason guys act the way the do, in some girl’s cases, it is. Men are intimidated by beautiful, confident women that don’t need a man. Even though I do like attention from guys (what girl doesn’t?), I don’t need it to have a good time. Whether or not I’m enjoying myself and my life is completely dependent upon, well, me. That intimidates men.

If you have a strong relationship with your girlfriends (a la the trifecta – Leah, Bridgette, and me) it deters guys from asking out someone from the group, because if you piss off one girl, you’ve pissed off them all. Also it’s difficult for guys to tell which in the group likes or would be interested in him and if he chooses incorrectly, well you can imagine. So a lot of guys just don’t try.

Security in my attractiveness (e.g. you’re a fox, you’re gorgeous, I like watching you dance, you can shake it like no other, etc.)

Men are douchebags.

What I’ve gleaned from my own experiences:
It doesn’t really have anything to do with whether or not a guy is interested (in my experience most guys would be interested if they knew you were) and if you think he is, there's a good possibility he is. It comes down to if he’s going to do anything about it or not (if he has enough balls or isn’t too lazy that is), which usually isn’t very often. Because like everyone else, guys have insecurities too and they get nervous just like you. To say they don’t is stupid. It’s like saying they are void of emotion. I’ve made my fair share of men cry (all warranted) and to say that is just not true. Women are capable of hurting men just as much (if not more) than the reverse.

And if a guy doesn’t try to pursue me then it’s his loss. Not mine. Because I’m marvelous!

Also, men are douchebags.

The End.

Thank you for listening (or reading), now I feel better.

Walmart Scam

2009-06-25T12:04:00.001-07:00

My friend Bekah sent this to me and I had to share. Watch out, this could happen to you!

Is it Ignorance or Indifference?

2009-06-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

The following is how Britney Spears greeting her audience while performing in Manchester.

"What's up, London?"

Poor, poor girl. Here’s a quick geography lesson for you Britney. London is located in the South of England. I’m sorry, let me go a little further back.

London is a city.

England is a country.

The United Kingdom is comprised of the following countries: England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland.

Let me know if I’m going too fast.
London is located in the South of England.
Manchester (where you were performing) is in the North of England.

Oh, I can tell I’m loosing you. Now Britney-please stay with me!
The distance between them is a little over 200 miles-3 hours and 45 minutes or (a little bit easier for you to understand) roughly the time it would take for two naps and a meal.

Hardly the same place. You wouldn't greet New York by saying "What's up Cleveland?" now would you?

Thank You.

Blogging Machine

2009-06-22T14:56:00.000-07:00

I know, last one for the day (probably).

New favorite song: Lily Allen's The Fear

The LYRICS make me smile...

For all the men that think these would impress me.

2009-06-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

You played football-ever.
You look like a male model (and you think like one too)
You think I’m hot or you tell me you think I’m hot (and that‘s all you care about) &
Bragging - about anything.

I’m sorry, but these do not impress me.

These do:
Kindness
Compassion
Humility
Talent (actual talent not burping the alphabet) &
Smarts (dumb jocks are out)

Deal breaker - must be willing to dance.
FYI - Girls don’t care if you’re a good dancer, they care if you’re willing to have a good time or not.

Dearest Meredith,

2009-06-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

I am afeared to post a blog in regards to anything other than my Montana Adventures because I love my kneecaps.

H & k's

Sarah

P.S. If you would like to see pictures from my adventures please visit my flickr account http://www.flickr.com/photos/39704918@N07/

P.P.S. I really hope this is a sufficient blog posting of my adventures because I have only a few words to describe the awesomeness of my trip and the beauty of the Big Sky Country.

Rolling Hills

Gorgeous

Wildlife

Giggles & Silliness

Best Friends &

Breathtaking

The End

P.P.S.S. Meredith you are fantastic and one of my favorite people. Thanks for being my friend.

P.P.P.S.S. Julie I love you and can’t wait till you’re back in Seattle, it’s so not the same without you!

Sorry Meredith

2009-06-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

No, this blog is not about Montana, but I will try to do one tonight Meredith. I know you’ve been waiting on tenterhooks!

Okay, getting to the point. I heard this story on the radio yesterday and had to post it. I mean I love tattoos, but this is a bit much.

Supposedly there was a miscommunication with her and the artist. She asked for 3 stars, then fell asleep during the procedure (really?) and awoke to 56 instead. Is she telling the truth? Read the story and decide for yourself.

The New Uplift

2009-06-15T12:42:00.001-07:00

No, I’m not blogging about a new bra at Victoria’s Secret.

We’ve all been there; you’re interested in a guy and no matter how secure you are in your attractiveness (some of us more than others ;D) or how old you are, really liking a guy can make you regress back to that over analytical teenager who stresses over the tiniest detail. Thinking back over the past six months I’ve come to realize how we girls solve each other’s guy anxiety and lift each other up. This is what I like to call the “Uplift”. The key moment in a conversation where something is said that changes everything, including your mood.

With Bridgette we use:
“You’re so beautiful and a good person. Who wouldn’t like you?”
With Leah we use:
“No, that’s not what happened. He likes you because of A, B and C.”
And then there’s me:
“He likes you, bitch!”

I’m not sure why with mine profanity is used, but it makes me laugh, so I guess it succeeds in cheering me up. ;D And really, what’s a few “bitches” between friends?

I'm back!

2009-06-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

I arrived home from Montana last night and will post pictures and tales soon (oh I have a plethora of both)...but on a side note, someone from NASA viewed my blog-weird.

Pecks should never be described as Boobs

2009-06-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

My favorite conversation from this last weekend went a little like this:

Bridgette, Leah and I walk towards the dance floor and are approached by a mildly drunken man.
DM: Hey you should check out my friend’s boobs! (Drunken Man fondles male friend’s pecks)
Me: Oh, that’s okay, I have my own.
DM: But he can move his!
Leah: How do you know she can’t move hers?

To quote my mother we girls “have the most interesting conversations”.

Past Lives and the People We Knew.

2009-05-29T00:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been watching a tv show and “poof” onscreen pops a guy you went to high school with??

No??

Well I have. Weird.

Things that make you go “What?”

2009-05-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

-Stuck-

I woke up this morning with a weird song combination in my head:

“Rock it, don’t stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Crank the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see you 1, 2 step”
“I wanna take a ride on your disco stick”

Yep, that’s been on a loop since 5:00 this morning. I guess this is what happens when I watch music videos right before bed.

-Uh, question!- As I was sleeping in the car on my way home from work yesterday afternoon, I had a dream that I had a son. A blonde, curly haired little boy, aged roughly around two years. I don’t usually dream about potential future children, in fact that was the second time ever. I guess the question I have is this: Why are these dream children always blonde? With my dark hair it doesn’t seem very probable.
P.S. - Isn't that little boy adorable??

-Side note-
Leah bought one of these yesterday for our Montana Adventures: The Kodak Zi6 Pocket Camcorder

I’m so excited!

Dream Competitions and Montana Adventures

2009-05-21T09:56:00.000-07:00

A recent conversation with my brother:

Me: Anthony, did I tell you I had a dream the other night that I was Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Anthony: No, but Leah told me.
Me: Did she tell you that in the dream I wasn’t played by Sarah Michelle Geller, but instead by…Alyssa Milano??

Anthony: No, that’s funny.
Me: Isn’t that crazy?
Anthony: Yeah, I had a dream the other night that I was Vincent Price’s grandson. He presented me with the outfit worn by Michael Jackson in “Thriller”.

Me: …Okay….you win.

The countdown to Montana Adventures has begun.

Two weeks and a day until we visit Julie (Oh how I miss thee!) in Montana and I can’t wait! Neither can Leah apparently. She wrote a hilarious blog about it this morning and you can read it here!

Overheard Office Calls/the Tale of the Typist

2009-05-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

My office (more like an oversized, elongated hallway shared with me by the bookkeeper) is next door to the reception area and as a result I get to hear every call/conversation from out there. This one occurred this morning.

Deborah: I’m sorry but Priscilla’s in a meeting right now…no I’m sorry they’re in the meeting as well…actually there’s just two of us not in the meeting…Sarah and I…well I answer the phones and she’s the typist.

*two minutes later*

Deborah: Sarah, I just called you a “typist”.
Sarah: Yeah, I heard that.
Deborah: Sometimes I just get so flustered when I talk to (Name has been edited out do to client confidentiality). A typist? Have you ever even used a typewriter??
Sarah: Yeah, but not for a long time.
Deborah: I should have said “keyboardist”, but even that doesn’t make sense.

Um, that's awkward.

2009-05-19T21:39:00.000-07:00

Naughty Nads, you will NOT be my hair removal choice. Sorry.

Thanks for coming out tonight!

2009-05-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

Now, I’m going to tell you how my weekend went down, by the end it may not sound like it was that cool, but trust me-I had an awesome time!

Thursday (yes, I’m starting with Thursday because I don’t work on Fridays) night we saw the new Star Trek film at the IMAX downtown. Despite our best efforts, we made it to the theater late, meaning we got there about 10 minutes before the movie started instead of the half hour suggested by the theater. The only available seats were (can you guess?) in the front row-sitting down I was certain my brain was going to explode. Thankfully it didn’t and actually it wasn’t too bad. Mild distortion of the actor’s faces was all that plagued us, and as luck would have it we ended up sitting in front of the rest of our party (Trent & Laird). Gummy Bears and Peanut M&Ms shared all around-what fun!

Movie critique: I actually really enjoyed it. I mean I’m not a trekkie, so my critique isn’t shaped by the previous movies or show. I’ve maybe seen 3 episodes of Star Trek (and all their spinoffs) in my life and the only movie I remember seeing is The Voyage Home, in the theater as a double feature with (if I remember correctly) one of the Ernest movies. Having said that, I think they did a pretty good job with casting and the actors with, well, acting. I’m not a huge fan of the guy that played Kirk, mainly because I find that “all American, captain of the football team” type of guy repulsive, but I will say one thing-the kid has good comedic timing.

Friday was Mark’s Karaoke Birthday Partiness! I had an awesome time and sang into the wee hours of the morning.

Highlights: being a backup dancer for Mark singing “I’m Too Sexy” and singing “Toxic” with Laird, who seemed to only want to squeeze out those ridiculously high notes in the chorus leaving me with the verses. Thanks for the back up champ-next time it’ll be Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”!

Things I’ve learned: I know most of the lyrics to every song ever created and singing “You Shook Me All Night Long” to a room full of prudish women (and a few men as well) is not a good idea. I haven’t gotten so many death looks since I was asked to get up and introduce myself in Relief Society with the topic of something I was good at. Apparently telling women I am good at turning men down at clubs doesn’t go over very well.

Saturday Leah, Bridgette and I went to our favorite weekend dance spot where Leah was told by two men she was the most beautiful woman there, Bridgette was followed down the street by a man telling her she looked like an Arab princess, and a man in a security polo told me he had a crush on me. Bridgette told him she was pretty sure I had a crush on him too “so it was okay”. Many comical interactions ensued and we left giggling.

Sunday, after being spiritually uplifted at church (I went to all three meetings-yay!), Bridgette and I headed over to David Randall’s house for “Acoustic Jam Night”. Where we sang many songs including: Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide” and Rihanna’s “Umbrella”. It was the first time I had done anything like that and I had a blast. I could probably do that every night actually! Singing is fun.

Thank you.

Stolen from Rachel's Blog!

2009-05-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

ABC's of Me!

2009-05-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

A - Age: Shh….a woman never reveals her age. ;D

B - Bed size: Twin, I’ve been told that’s weird, but I figure you have better cuddling opportunities that way. Also, I’m tiny.

C - Chore you hate: Um all of them, that’s why they call them chores.

D - Dog's name: Cooper-he’s the cutest little dachshund ever.

E - Essential start your day item: Uh, I honestly don’t have one. My routine always changes.

F - Favorite color: pink, green, and all the various jewel tones of those two colors.

G - Gold or Silver or platinum: Don’t care as long as it’s not yellow gold, I hate that!

H - Height: I am 5'1"

I - Instruments you play: Does my voice count?

J - Job title: Assistant in Plan Administration.

K - Kid(s): I had a dream I had a little blonde baby girl, that’s as close as I’ve gotten so far.

L - Living arrangements: I live with two awesome roommates, who seem more like sisters to me. Probably because one is.

M - Mom's name: Bobbi (Barbara-don‘t call her Barbie!)

N - Nicknames: my parents call me Saray.

O - Overnight hospital stay other than your birth: I had my appendix removed in the 5th grade.

P - Pet Peeve: people that come over to my house unannounced (except if it’s to check on us because you heard we were in accident-Thanks Rocky!) Please call first!

Q - Quote from a movie: “Confidentially, I think you're a bit of a stinker, too.”

R - Right or left handed: Right.

S - Siblings: 3, two sisters and a brother.

T - Time you wake up: 5, 5:30, 6, 6:30, depends on how ready I need to get or how little sleep I got.

U- Underwear: I really like the “cheeky” pants at Victoria’s Secret. Super comfortable!

V - Vegetable you dislike: mushrooms, zucchini, eggplant. All of the afore mentioned can be tolerated if appropriately prepared. It’s a texture thing, I really can stand slimy-mushy things.

W - Ways you run late: Inaccurate perception of the length of time it takes to do a task. Isn’t that the usual reason people run late?

X - X-rays you've had: Chest x-rays (haha….yeah!), I’ve had more CT Scans than X-rays I think.

Y - Yummy food you make: Leah makes yummier food than me, but I eat it so it’s okay! ;D

Z - Zoo favorite: All of them, except maybe the cockroaches, I could probably do without those.

I can't wait....

2009-05-06T12:48:00.000-07:00

to see this show! Leah told me about it last night, the first season comes out in a couple weeks (already put it in my Netflix queue).

Plus I already adore their theme song-set it as my default ringtone!

Oops.

2009-05-05T14:28:00.000-07:00

Oh People.com, you should have phrased this differently.

"Proving the title of her new memoir, “Resilience,” to be accurate, Elizabeth Edwards sheds some highly personal insights into her life, her health and her husband's infidelity with Oprah Winfrey, in a TV interview to air on The Oprah Winfrey Show Thursday. "

Celebrity Morph by MyHeritage

2009-05-03T20:29:00.001-07:00

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

To be played at our next dance party?

2009-05-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

What do you guys think??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVkpckTC3Us

Favorite Quotes for the Week

2009-04-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

Sarah: Why is he ignoring me? I don’t understand, I thought we were “friends”.
Sean: Remove the quotes and strike it through.

Leah: Oh no, I get it now. He’s actually pretty cute.
Bridgette: It’s that grey suit, it’s distracting.

Sarah: Well, I don’t know there are a lot of guys in the ward I’d date.
Lindsay & Stephanie: Like who?
Sarah: Like pretty much anyone I haven’t badmouthed. I’m not super picky.
Leah: Tell them what you’re going to do when you get married.
Sarah: Oh, I’m going to post a list of all the guys that I would have gone out with if they had even tried.
Leah: Her husband’s going to have to be very understanding.
Sarah: No, he’ll be happy-he won!

Bridgette: No, it’s cool we talked to him the other night.
Sarah: No. You talked to him.
Bridgette: But you were there-it counts.

Dad: So I was looking up places in Seattle that specialize in differentials to get a second opinion and you’ll never guess who popped up first-never guess.
Sarah: I don’t know…My Cousin Vinnie Automotive?

Bridgette: Love is like a trampoline-if you jump right on, you’ll just bounce right off!

Deborah: How did you find that out?
Sarah: I’m really good at stalking. Hey, people shouldn’t leave their facebook profiles set to open if they don’t want people to look.
Deborah: Is yours set to open?
Sarah: No. I don’t want weird people stalking me!

Sarah: Well, there’s this guy I like in my ward. He's pretty cute.
Patty: Uhuh.
Sarah: He teases me a lot.
Dan: See. That’s a GOOD sign!

Riddle me this.

2009-04-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

How come about 50% of the guys that view me on LDSLinkup served their mission in Argentina?

I just looked at my profile views this morning and there were like three that served there! That’s a pretty high percentage-I find that weird.

Eating out and Weight

2009-04-27T16:04:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of all the places (from memory) I’ve eaten out at in the past month or so:
Hi-Life
Del Rey
Las Margaritas
Jack in the Box
Phaya Thai on Lake City
Del Rey
Taco Bell
Taste of India
I <3 Bento on 35th
McDonalds
Johnny Rockets
PF Changs
Del Rey (See a pattern? I love their Chicken Nachos and Truffle Mac N’ Cheese!!)
The Matador

I really need to cut back on my eating out habits, because of the cost not because of the bulge in my waistband. Actually it’s been quite the reverse, I’ve actually lost 5 pounds, but that might just be from all the dancing, walking around Downtown in heels, swimming, and pacing (something I’ve developed-weird) I’ve been doing. Who knows?

You Won Second Prize in a Beauty Contest-Collect $10

2009-04-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, I didn't win a beauty prize (not that I couldn’t, I just didn’t enter one), but over the weekend Bridgette and I preformed in our Regional YSA Talent Show and took home 2nd place!! I'm still completely gobsmacked! I had a Sally Field moment too. No, I didn't get up on stage and blurt out very awkwardly "You like me-you really like me", but I thought it. Especially because there were some amazing acts and our ward has some incredible talent-one group in particular, who I thought should have won. Video to come! :D

I Love Whitney Wednesdays!

2009-04-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

I get an email from Whitney every week, when she was at the MTC it was on Tuesdays, but now that she's in Rome it's been on Wednesdays (I like the alliteration better anyway!)

As you all may remember, yesterday was Wednesday-at least I hope you do! And as usual I received an email (as did a few other friends and her family) telling all the tales of her time in Rome.

Visit http://whitneylinneanelson.blogspot.com/ for some of those tales.

When I got home and checked my mail (snail mail, you know the proper kind) I found 6-yes 6-letters from Whitney.

Yesterday was a wonderful Whitney Wednesday! :D

Weird Weekend…

2009-04-21T15:37:00.001-07:00

Something was in the air.

Bridgette-isms

2009-04-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

Bridgette makes me laugh. I heart her and her ridiculous adorableness!

-Things she says fairly regularly:
“Oh Snap!”
“You/they best be…”
“I’m so happy; this is the happiest day of my life!”
“I could do that.”

-When she does something and then explains why, even though no one’s asked. Examples:
What she said – “Snappidy Dappidy”
Her explanation – “I just made that up.”
What she did – Sang part of a song a different way.
Her explanation – “I just like to sing it that way.”

-She loves when guys her friends are interested in pay attention to them. She gets as excited as the person that it’s happening to.
Example: A boy I think is adorable said hello to me and asked me how I’d been. Not two seconds after he left she says “Ah! That was so cute!!” I swear, she was more excited then I was.

-She isn’t afraid to speak her mind-she’s quick-witted.
Example:
Sexist pig – “I can’t believe she’s going out with me, she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m so lucky.”
Bridgette – “Well, you better keep tricking her then!”

Douche Bags and Celebrity Quotes

2009-04-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

The first guy to ever email me on LDSLinkup, who was dating a current friend of mine at the time (we didn’t know each other then) and many others, emailed me today on Linkup. He sent me the same generic email he sent me almost four years ago.

“You’re gorgeous!”

Yeah, he didn’t remember me….guys are douche bags!

Favorite Celebrity Quote of the Day:

“I felt like I was in 'Mean Girls,' but worse: 'Mean Girls' was a movie." –Lindsay Lohan

I know I should feel bad, ‘cause she was just broken up with and all, but if you’re going to say ridiculous things like that-I can’t! Sorry.

Whitney in Rome

2009-04-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

I got an email from Whitney today. I miss her terribly! Here’s a link to her blog with a portion of it:
http://whitneylinneanelson.blogspot.com/2009/04/when-in-rome.html

Rage and Offensive Slurs

2009-04-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, on the way to Bridgette’s Jazz concert, on the rainy freeway, in stilettos-I yelled this out after a car wouldn’t let me change lanes:

"Bitches and Hos!"

It made Leah laugh.

I think Whitney’s road rage has rubbed off on me.

A Call from the Poe-Poe

2009-04-01T15:01:00.000-07:00

Monday night (or I should say Tuesday morning), as my mind danced across romantic interludes in my dream filled slumber, I received a phone call. Normally, I don’t receive phone calls in the middle of the night (I’m not that popular), let alone answer them. But in my very sleep deprived state I couldn’t control myself; I crawled over to where my phone should have been resting for the night and picked it up. I looked at it, expecting it to say one of my friends, perhaps Gollum or something (Yes, my friend Gollum is the only one that ever calls that late), but to my surprise it said “Restricted”. Curious and in fact not at all awake, I answer it. A man on the other end asks to talk to a “Daniel” somebody-last name was not familiar in any way. As I try to wake up, I stumble out what I think are words to repeat what he had just said. I have very little confidence that’s what I got out. I talk in my sleep and none of it has ever been intelligible. The man then said “This is the Puyallup Police Department; we are looking for Daniel (insert unfamiliar last name).” But that’s all I can remember, I woke up the next morning thinking it was a dream until I looked at my phone and read “Restricted, March 31, 3:02 am”. I have no idea how I ended the conversation, or even if I did. For all I know, I hung up on that poor Poe-Poe.

One of the Boys

2009-03-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

I saw a spider
I didn't scream
Cuz I can belch
The alphabet
Just double dog
Dare me
And I chose
Guitar over ballet
And I take
These suckers down
Because they just
Get in my way
The way
You look at me
Is kinda like
A little sister
Rubbed
By your goodbyes
And it leaves me
Nothing but blisters

(Chorus)
So I don't want to be
One of the boys
One of the guys
Just give me a chance
To prove to you
I'm neither
I just wanna be
One of the girls
Pretty in pearls
Not one of the boys

So over the summer
Something changed
I started reading 17
And shaving my legs
And I study
The litter religiously
And I walked
Right into school
And caught you
Drooling over me
Cuz I know
What you know
But now your gonna have
To take a number
It's ok
Maybe one day
But not until you give
Me my diamond ring.

(Chorus)
Cuz I don't want to be
One of the boys
One of your guys
Just give me a chance to
Prove to you tonight
That I just want to be
Your homecoming queen
Their poster dream
Not one of the boys

I wanna be a flower
Not a dirty weed
And I wanna smell
Like roses
Not a baseball team

And I swear
Maybe one day
Your gonnna
Wanna make out
Make out, make out
With me.

(Don't wanna be)
Don't want to be
(Don't wanna be)
Don't want to be
(Don't wanna be)

(Chorus)
Cuz I
I don't wanna be one
One
One of the boys
I just wanna be
One of the girls
So pretty in pearls
Not one of the boys

Social Experiment

2009-03-26T13:27:00.000-07:00

It has been brought to my attention (persistent comments from Priscilla) that maybe men have been discouraged from approaching me because of Whitney’s “commitment” rings that I wear on my “engagement” finger. As seen in the picture below. So, let’s do an experiment. I will switch the rings on my hands and wear them that way for the next month. And will report any noticeable changes as a result, which I’m sure will be none.

Facebook 25 Things

2009-03-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

Just so you know I’m a crazy person (and completely random) and these “25 facts” reflect that.

1. This is actually an embarrassing fact. When I’m making that long commute to and from work, I like to look at all the other cars on the road. But not just look at them, I count them. I’ve also started an unofficial investigation of which Car Company is most popular in the Pacific Northwest. I even contemplated bringing along a pad of paper and a writing implement to tally them for future spreadsheets. But then I thought that might be a bit much and might verge on the insane.

2. I love to dance and I do it almost everyday, for at least an hour, usually up in my room. Even on the nights that I go out and get my groove on, I usually do some “warming up” earlier, which can result in me dancing for more than 4 hours in a single day.

3. I don’t have an appendix; it was removed in the 5th grade. I have a cute little scar. If you’re lucky I might show it to you sometime. ;D

4. I’m a pretty open person and I don’t have too many secrets. I wear my heart on my sleeve and if I don’t like you-you probably know it.

5. I’ve been taught how to ride a bike roughly 6 times in my lifetime. It never stuck and I finally gave up.

6. I missed half of the first grade because (continued in number 7)

7. I got sick and it took 6 months to diagnosis me with Ehrlichiosis, a bacterial disease (most common in dogs) transmitted by infected ticks. I was the first (human) reported case in Washington State. I was never treated and was fine the next year.

8. I shot a hand gun for the first time this year-got a bullseye!

9. Everything about me is tiny, including my red blood cells.

10. I can develop a crush on most guys. I even developed one because Leah told me I should.Leah: You should like so and so. You guys would be cute!Sarah: Okay!

11. I love babies and kids, but I’m afraid of having my own, especially if they’re like me!

12. I’m a massage whore. Not in a dirty way, I just like to be touched!

13. If I could be anyone else, I would be Kristen Chenoweth, because she’s adorable!!

14. Once I’m married, I fully intend to post a list of all the guys I wanted to or would have dated (since I was 18) if they had even tried. It’s a slap to those who could have had this (points to self) and a slap to those that couldn’t…hehehe. Yeah, I’m a mean girl, but I’ve been burned a lot in my day-so I think it’s warranted!

15. I love being naked-naked as a baby.

16. I love springtime, especially in the Northwest.

17. I want to recreate the final dance scene in Dirty Dancing, perform it for a talent show, and have the time of my life. That would be lots of fun!

18. Medical things, the way the body works, different diseases-all interest me, I love reading about them. But I can’t watch them (medical shows, pictures, diagrams) they make my stomach turn.

19. I love anything Ancient Egypt related, always have, and always will.

20. I want to learn how to do back flips.

21. If I say something weird and you don’t understand, it’s probably a movie or tv quote and therefore you wouldn’t.

22. I contemplated having a sketch comedy show, but very few Americans would think it was funny…

23. I want to go around Pike Place Market and pretend to be a tourist with an accent.

24. I love confusing peoples and being tricksie!

25. I hate talking on the phone and I hate calling people. I have huge anxiety from it!

26. I stand on my tippy toes. At least one foot is almost always raised when I’m doing something-brushing my teeth, preparing food/cooking, cleaning, singing…..apparently I do it all the time (thanks Julie). Is it because secretly I’m part cat? Meow…

27. When I’m alone in my car I practice my accents, someday I’ll be good enough to show the world, but until then it will remain in my car.

**Addendum to number 14-I will also put little notes like “you could have been a winner” or “you should have tried-loser” in my wedding announcements. Hahaha!!

Roommate Breakfast of Champions

2009-03-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

Again, names have been changed to protect us. And you won’t figure out whose yoohoo is whose because we be tricksie!!

Sarah: I have that song stuck in my head. “L O V E-love.”
Amy: What song is that?
Sarah: Bridgette burned it for us. It’s this song about a guy who’s in love with this girl and he says (singing) “love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love. Like a glove, like a glove, like a glove-I’d stick to you!” And then he finds out she doesn’t love him and he ends the song with (singing) “I’m not in love with you; I’m going to find my next girlfriend-today's my find a girlfriend day. Thank you very much.”
(Amy laughs)
Sarah: I don’t know, maybe I just like it because it reminds me of Larry.
(Amy & Leah laugh)
Sarah: You know, he’s all “I’m so in love with you” and then he finds out they have no interest in him and he’s like “Oh I didn’t like you anyway! I’m in love with this ugly girl that I say is beautiful over here and she has nothing to do with you! And I’m going to announce it on facebook!!”
Amy: Well, he recently changed his profile picture to of him and a girl! So.
(Leah and I have commiserating looks of confusion.)
Leah: What?
Sarah: No he didn’t.
Amy: Yeah he’s with a girl.
Sarah: No, that’s Shaniqua! (Name has been changed to a feminine because apparently he is….)
(We all laugh-pants pissing successfully avoided! Result!)
Amy: Sorry, it was a small picture when I was looking at it last night.
(Edited break in conversation)
Leah: Well, I hope he’s happy with whatever skinny-assed transvestite he ends up with!
Sarah: Or Shaniqua.
(Laughter ensues)
Amy: Oh that makes me sad for the guys in the ward…don’t they want to have sex?
Sarah: Uh no! Remember my conversation with that guy on Sunday? (Imitating guy’s voice) “Well, you’re wearing a ring and you’re attending a singles ward full of men that want to get married.” And Bridgette and I were like “Uh, no they don’t!” and he was like “Well, I want to get married.” And I was thinking “Of course…that’s why you’re talking to us!”
Leah: Yeah, guys that are ready to get married flirt with us-because, well, they want to have sex. All the rest avoid us like the plague.
Amy: Yeah, probably standing in the corner.
Leah: Holding themselves.
(Much laughter to be had!! I love our mornings!)

I five year old!

2009-03-23T19:33:00.000-07:00

I five year old today!!

Happy birthday Cooper!! You may be five today, but you're still a puppy!!

Conversations this past week that made me smile and/or laugh….

2009-03-23T15:50:00.000-07:00

(Names have been changed to protect our dirty little secrets. If you think you’ve figured out who the male characters are in this piece you are wrong, because we are that clever! Haha!!)

Sunday evening funsies galore! Featuring Bridgette, Leah, Sean, and moi!
Sarah: Okay, imagine I was Bob, Larry was me, and Bridgette you’re Larry.
Bridgette & Leah: Okay.
Bridgette: Why am I Larry?
Sarah: Because we need to be friends.
Bridgette: Okay.
Sarah: Right. But let’s pretend we’re not as good of friends as we really are. And I told Larry all that stuff that Bob told me about Larry and Bridgette and Larry flipped out and started crying; well, not crying because he’s a guy. But you could tell he was really upset. As Bob, I would have been really upset. You know?
Bridgette: Because it affected Larry so much?
Sarah: Exactly, I was hoping that if I told Larry all of that stuff, he would run into my arms and tell me he loves me-not be upset. Wouldn’t you?
Leah: Oh yeah.
Bridgette: Oh, I get it; yes I would have been pissed.
Leah: Wait, who am I?
Sarah: You’re Matt.
Leah: Who’s Matt?
Sarah: Matt’s you.
Leah and Bridgette talk and laugh at this.
Sarah: Wait….who’s Bob??
Leah and Bridgette: You are.
Sarah: (louder) No, who’s Bob?
Leah and Bridgette: (much louder) You are.
Sarah: (much, much louder) No! The real Bob!
Leah and Bridgette: Oh!!
We all laugh.
Sarah: He’s a ga-nome!
More laughter!

Bridgette: I would bet that the guys gossiped more than the girls.
Sarah: Oh yeah I bet they do.
Leah: Like little school girls.

Sean: I’m coming up. Stop your girl talk.
Sarah: Did you say pillow talk?
Leah: (singing) Pillow talk. Pillow talk.
Sean: No, I said girl talk.
Sarah: Oh, because I was going to say “But Sean, none of us are interested in each other.”
Bridgette: Maybe we should just have a pillow fight.
Sarah: (picking up a pillow and giggling) pillow fight!

Bridgette and I, loitering in the hall between church meetings.
Anonymous Man: Do you have any kids?
Sarah: Me? No, why would I have kids?
AM: Well, you’re married. (Gestures to my ring finger)
I look down at Whitney’s commitment rings on my left hand.
Sarah: (talking to Bridgette) Oh my goodness, that’s the second time today someone noticed that!
AM: Well, you’re wearing a ring and you’re attending a singles ward full of men that want to get married.
Sarah & Bridgette: Uh, no they don’t!
AM: Well, I want to get married.

A former employee came to the office this morning to visit.
Sarah: Hello!
Kelly: Hello…Oh my goodness you look amazing!
Sarah: (laughs a little) Thank you.
Kelly: Wow, I didn’t think you’d still be here. You look wonderful!
Deborah: She’s always looked wonderful.
Kelly: Yes, well, she was cute before, but now she’s bloomed. Wow.
Sarah: (awkward laughter)
Kelly: She’s in full bloom-looking like that. I would have expected you to be married and popping out babies looking like that.
Deborah: Oh don’t get us started on that!

And my final smile moment….I’m embarrassed to say this, but I have a crush on a bouncer at a club downtown. Because, well, he’s tall, has a deep voice and a beautiful face, nice body, and he’s cute. Seriously, he dances and sings along to the songs-it’s so adorable! Friday we went out dancing and instead of making eyes at the patrons, I have to admit, I watched him almost the whole time. When we were done we decided to leave out the back door where he was standing (hehehe). We got about two feet from the door and then a bunch of women walked over and blocked us from being able to leave. He saw this and pushed them out of the way, turned on his flash light so we wouldn’t trip, and guided us through the door. I was the last to pass by him and when I did he whispered in my ear “I love your shoes!” I thanked him and then he whispered “you look really wonderful tonight!” Seriously?? He had to say that? Bitch! That so didn’t help my crush!

Woman or Women?

2009-03-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

“Prosecutor: Bellingham van thieves knew children were inside
Two women who stole a van left running in the Meridian Street Cost Cutter parking lot saw two small children inside but took it anyway, they told authorities after being arrested.”

While this is an interesting story, it’s not the reason I’m blogging. There is in fact a funny story to go along with this news blurb. For whatever reason (possibly because this took place across the street from where we work) Priscilla, Patty, and I were looking at the picture of these two ladies and reading the headline. Here is the conversation that ensued, now remember, Priscilla is from South Africa. So, please imagine this with an accent:

Priscilla: Is that the picture?
Patty & I: Yes.
Priscilla: Are those two *pause* woman? (Yes, she said woman and not women)
Patty: (in a patronizing tone) Yes Priscilla, and those two in the background are the police officers!

Oh my goodness, I almost pissed my pants. Well at least one thing made me laugh today!

Thank you Prudence, thank you!

2009-03-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

A dear Prudence letter-thank you Prudence for your sass!

Dear Prudence,

My boyfriend and I are in a healthy and loving relationship, and we are beginning to talk about marriage. We both want the same number of kids at the same point in our lives. It is presumed that these will be our biological children. The issue is, I'm not sure that I would want to bear my boyfriend's children. While he is incredibly intelligent and has a great personality, he is markedly less physically attractive than I am. We get occasional lighthearted comments from friends and family about the discrepancy. Having biological children has never been important to me, and I think adoption is great. I believe that he will be an amazing father and that our children, biological or adopted, would be bright and well-behaved as a result of good parenting. Should I bring these thoughts up with him? I think he would be open to the idea of adoption but would also be hurt by my rationale. At what point should we discuss this more seriously, and how should I tell him how I feel?
—Skinny Bitch

Dear Skinny,

You're wise to avoid the potential tragedy of reproducing with your boyfriend: Your children could get his looks and your personality. Perhaps your boyfriend's already got an inkling of how you feel because of the Leonardo DiCaprio mask you ask him to wear when you make love. And although Brad and Angelina are both fecund and support adoption, I'm not sure they're going to agree to place any of their future progeny with you just to help you avoid the embarrassment of having a child who looks like your boyfriend. I'm trying to imagine how you initiate this discussion with him. Something like: "I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. But when it comes to having kids, I'm sure that if we adopt we'll have a better shot of having decent-looking ones than if I let you impregnate me with your hideous sperm." That should go over well! What's supposed to happen when you are in love with someone (who also happens to be intelligent and have a great personality) is that you discover, despite objective measures, that person is beautiful to you. Your boyfriend sounds like a catch, so maybe you should toss him back so that he has a chance to find someone who's not permanently stuck in the shallow end.
—Prudie

Needle in a Haystack

2009-03-17T11:34:00.001-07:00

Actually it wasn’t a needle, it was a ring (one of Whitney’s commitment rings), and that wasn’t no haystack either, it was a Victoria’s Secret panty drawer. Okay, let’s go back to the beginning. Yesterday evening Leah and I went to Victoria’s Secret to do a little underwear shopping. As I was looking through about 7 drawers (like the ones highlighted in this photo) of rather tiny but well stocked knickers, I realized one of my rings had slipped off my hand. At that moment I thought it was lost forever. Leah, at little more optimistic (who knew) opened the last drawer I was looking in and found it almost immediately! Thank goodness-now I don’t have to write Whitney and tell her I lost her ring in a panty drawer, although she’d probably find that funny! ;D

I forgot....

2009-03-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

How much I love him! If I had a type, it'd be "foxy"! ;D

Hearts and Sunshine and Birthday Greetings!

2009-03-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

The happiest heart shaped birthday wishes to my dearest and bestest, best friend Whitney!! I’m sending you 300,000,000 hearts and sunshine beams from my laser guided eyes all the way across the Atlantic to you in Rome! Pretty powerful stuff! I love you with all my heart (Exhibit A) and I miss you like crazazazy!!!!

Exhibit A

The Difference Between Men & Women.

2009-03-10T11:55:00.000-07:00

Thank you Priscilla for another clever video!

My blog

2009-03-09T15:38:00.000-07:00

I followed Ivy's example and created one of these at http://www.wordle.net/

Heathcliff!!! It's me Cathy!

2009-03-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

Last one for the day-I promise!

I almost pissed my pants when I saw this! Now I can’t get this song out of my head….thanks Bridge! ;D