Roommate Breakfast of Champions

Again, names have been changed to protect us. And you won’t figure out whose yoohoo is whose because we be tricksie!!

Sarah: I have that song stuck in my head. “L O V E-love.”
Amy: What song is that?
Sarah: Bridgette burned it for us. It’s this song about a guy who’s in love with this girl and he says (singing) “love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love. Like a glove, like a glove, like a glove-I’d stick to you!” And then he finds out she doesn’t love him and he ends the song with (singing) “I’m not in love with you; I’m going to find my next girlfriend-today's my find a girlfriend day. Thank you very much.”
(Amy laughs)
Sarah: I don’t know, maybe I just like it because it reminds me of Larry.
(Amy & Leah laugh)
Sarah: You know, he’s all “I’m so in love with you” and then he finds out they have no interest in him and he’s like “Oh I didn’t like you anyway! I’m in love with this ugly girl that I say is beautiful over here and she has nothing to do with you! And I’m going to announce it on facebook!!”
Amy: Well, he recently changed his profile picture to of him and a girl! So.
(Leah and I have commiserating looks of confusion.)
Leah: What?
Sarah: No he didn’t.
Amy: Yeah he’s with a girl.
Sarah: No, that’s Shaniqua! (Name has been changed to a feminine because apparently he is….)
(We all laugh-pants pissing successfully avoided! Result!)
Amy: Sorry, it was a small picture when I was looking at it last night.
(Edited break in conversation)
Leah: Well, I hope he’s happy with whatever skinny-assed transvestite he ends up with!
Sarah: Or Shaniqua.
(Laughter ensues)
Amy: Oh that makes me sad for the guys in the ward…don’t they want to have sex?
Sarah: Uh no! Remember my conversation with that guy on Sunday? (Imitating guy’s voice) “Well, you’re wearing a ring and you’re attending a singles ward full of men that want to get married.” And Bridgette and I were like “Uh, no they don’t!” and he was like “Well, I want to get married.” And I was thinking “Of course…that’s why you’re talking to us!”
Leah: Yeah, guys that are ready to get married flirt with us-because, well, they want to have sex. All the rest avoid us like the plague.
Amy: Yeah, probably standing in the corner.
Leah: Holding themselves.
(Much laughter to be had!! I love our mornings!)