(Names have been changed to protect our dirty little secrets. If you think you’ve figured out who the male characters are in this piece you are wrong, because we are that clever! Haha!!)
Sunday evening funsies galore! Featuring Bridgette, Leah, Sean, and moi!
Sarah: Okay, imagine I was Bob, Larry was me, and Bridgette you’re Larry.
Bridgette & Leah: Okay.
Bridgette: Why am I Larry?
Sarah: Because we need to be friends.
Bridgette: Okay.
Sarah: Right. But let’s pretend we’re not as good of friends as we really are. And I told Larry all that stuff that Bob told me about Larry and Bridgette and Larry flipped out and started crying; well, not crying because he’s a guy. But you could tell he was really upset. As Bob, I would have been really upset. You know?
Bridgette: Because it affected Larry so much?
Sarah: Exactly, I was hoping that if I told Larry all of that stuff, he would run into my arms and tell me he loves me-not be upset. Wouldn’t you?
Leah: Oh yeah.
Bridgette: Oh, I get it; yes I would have been pissed.
Leah: Wait, who am I?
Sarah: You’re Matt.
Leah: Who’s Matt?
Sarah: Matt’s you.
Leah and Bridgette talk and laugh at this.
Sarah: Wait….who’s Bob??
Leah and Bridgette: You are.
Sarah: (louder) No, who’s Bob?
Leah and Bridgette: (much louder) You are.
Sarah: (much, much louder) No! The real Bob!
Leah and Bridgette: Oh!!
We all laugh.
Sarah: He’s a ga-nome!
More laughter!
Bridgette: I would bet that the guys gossiped more than the girls.
Sarah: Oh yeah I bet they do.
Leah: Like little school girls.
Sean: I’m coming up. Stop your girl talk.
Sarah: Did you say pillow talk?
Leah: (singing) Pillow talk. Pillow talk.
Sean: No, I said girl talk.
Sarah: Oh, because I was going to say “But Sean, none of us are interested in each other.”
Bridgette: Maybe we should just have a pillow fight.
Sarah: (picking up a pillow and giggling) pillow fight!
Bridgette and I, loitering in the hall between church meetings.
Anonymous Man: Do you have any kids?
Sarah: Me? No, why would I have kids?
AM: Well, you’re married. (Gestures to my ring finger)
I look down at Whitney’s commitment rings on my left hand.
Sarah: (talking to Bridgette) Oh my goodness, that’s the second time today someone noticed that!
AM: Well, you’re wearing a ring and you’re attending a singles ward full of men that want to get married.
Sarah & Bridgette: Uh, no they don’t!
AM: Well, I want to get married.
A former employee came to the office this morning to visit.
Sarah: Hello!
Kelly: Hello…Oh my goodness you look amazing!
Sarah: (laughs a little) Thank you.
Kelly: Wow, I didn’t think you’d still be here. You look wonderful!
Deborah: She’s always looked wonderful.
Kelly: Yes, well, she was cute before, but now she’s bloomed. Wow.
Sarah: (awkward laughter)
Kelly: She’s in full bloom-looking like that. I would have expected you to be married and popping out babies looking like that.
Deborah: Oh don’t get us started on that!
And my final smile moment….I’m embarrassed to say this, but I have a crush on a bouncer at a club downtown. Because, well, he’s tall, has a deep voice and a beautiful face, nice body, and he’s cute. Seriously, he dances and sings along to the songs-it’s so adorable! Friday we went out dancing and instead of making eyes at the patrons, I have to admit, I watched him almost the whole time. When we were done we decided to leave out the back door where he was standing (hehehe). We got about two feet from the door and then a bunch of women walked over and blocked us from being able to leave. He saw this and pushed them out of the way, turned on his flash light so we wouldn’t trip, and guided us through the door. I was the last to pass by him and when I did he whispered in my ear “I love your shoes!” I thanked him and then he whispered “you look really wonderful tonight!” Seriously?? He had to say that? Bitch! That so didn’t help my crush!
Sunday evening funsies galore! Featuring Bridgette, Leah, Sean, and moi!
Sarah: Okay, imagine I was Bob, Larry was me, and Bridgette you’re Larry.
Bridgette & Leah: Okay.
Bridgette: Why am I Larry?
Sarah: Because we need to be friends.
Bridgette: Okay.
Sarah: Right. But let’s pretend we’re not as good of friends as we really are. And I told Larry all that stuff that Bob told me about Larry and Bridgette and Larry flipped out and started crying; well, not crying because he’s a guy. But you could tell he was really upset. As Bob, I would have been really upset. You know?
Bridgette: Because it affected Larry so much?
Sarah: Exactly, I was hoping that if I told Larry all of that stuff, he would run into my arms and tell me he loves me-not be upset. Wouldn’t you?
Leah: Oh yeah.
Bridgette: Oh, I get it; yes I would have been pissed.
Leah: Wait, who am I?
Sarah: You’re Matt.
Leah: Who’s Matt?
Sarah: Matt’s you.
Leah and Bridgette talk and laugh at this.
Sarah: Wait….who’s Bob??
Leah and Bridgette: You are.
Sarah: (louder) No, who’s Bob?
Leah and Bridgette: (much louder) You are.
Sarah: (much, much louder) No! The real Bob!
Leah and Bridgette: Oh!!
We all laugh.
Sarah: He’s a ga-nome!
More laughter!
Bridgette: I would bet that the guys gossiped more than the girls.
Sarah: Oh yeah I bet they do.
Leah: Like little school girls.
Sean: I’m coming up. Stop your girl talk.
Sarah: Did you say pillow talk?
Leah: (singing) Pillow talk. Pillow talk.
Sean: No, I said girl talk.
Sarah: Oh, because I was going to say “But Sean, none of us are interested in each other.”
Bridgette: Maybe we should just have a pillow fight.
Sarah: (picking up a pillow and giggling) pillow fight!
Bridgette and I, loitering in the hall between church meetings.
Anonymous Man: Do you have any kids?
Sarah: Me? No, why would I have kids?
AM: Well, you’re married. (Gestures to my ring finger)
I look down at Whitney’s commitment rings on my left hand.
Sarah: (talking to Bridgette) Oh my goodness, that’s the second time today someone noticed that!
AM: Well, you’re wearing a ring and you’re attending a singles ward full of men that want to get married.
Sarah & Bridgette: Uh, no they don’t!
AM: Well, I want to get married.
A former employee came to the office this morning to visit.
Sarah: Hello!
Kelly: Hello…Oh my goodness you look amazing!
Sarah: (laughs a little) Thank you.
Kelly: Wow, I didn’t think you’d still be here. You look wonderful!
Deborah: She’s always looked wonderful.
Kelly: Yes, well, she was cute before, but now she’s bloomed. Wow.
Sarah: (awkward laughter)
Kelly: She’s in full bloom-looking like that. I would have expected you to be married and popping out babies looking like that.
Deborah: Oh don’t get us started on that!
And my final smile moment….I’m embarrassed to say this, but I have a crush on a bouncer at a club downtown. Because, well, he’s tall, has a deep voice and a beautiful face, nice body, and he’s cute. Seriously, he dances and sings along to the songs-it’s so adorable! Friday we went out dancing and instead of making eyes at the patrons, I have to admit, I watched him almost the whole time. When we were done we decided to leave out the back door where he was standing (hehehe). We got about two feet from the door and then a bunch of women walked over and blocked us from being able to leave. He saw this and pushed them out of the way, turned on his flash light so we wouldn’t trip, and guided us through the door. I was the last to pass by him and when I did he whispered in my ear “I love your shoes!” I thanked him and then he whispered “you look really wonderful tonight!” Seriously?? He had to say that? Bitch! That so didn’t help my crush!
1 comment:
I'm pretty sure I asked to be Matt..I had an impression all worked out, but I got distracted.
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