Thursday, November 29, 2007

Stolen Pick Up Lines!

So I stole these from Julia, because they were freakin' hysterical!!! Enjoy!

Do you like gardens?
Yes... Do you want to plant our two lips together?

do you like water? good! you already like 70% of me!

If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Are you accepting applications for your fan club

Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me

It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance

You remind me of my favorite library book. I just love checking you out!

Have you gotten a speeding ticket? Because you've got "fine" written all over you!

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

I’m sorry, I have lost my number…can I have yours?

So... What's your tribe?

Hold out one hand, closed, as if you have something in it. "Will you hold this for me?" When the other person holds out their hand, grab it (their hand) and say, "Thank you." (unfortunately, this one reminds me of dirty rotten scoundrels….also a hysterical part)

what's your name? thanks, i just needed to know so i could tell santa exactly what i want for Christmas

Boy: Is you're last name (insert boys last name here)?
Girl: No!
Boy: Do you want it to be?

hold out your hand and say, "will you take this while I go for a walk?"

would you like a raisin, maybe even a date?

Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Guadalupe?

If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be McGorgeous

Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, which is the worst: 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'

"Hey, see that exit? Do you want to go out with me?"

Hey lets get a pizza and make out....... what, you dont like pizza?

Sunday, November 25, 2007

What do bored Mormon kids do on a Sunday night?

Good times to be had at Target!

Happy Dunce Capped Sarah

Sad Dunce Capped Sarah

Friday, November 23, 2007

Thanksgiving 2007

I had an awesome Thanksgiving!!! Here are some of the pictures I took.

Leah and me

Lounging on the piano, you know, like I do!

Another one

My brother Anthony and me

Leah and Anthony

My dad, the capuchin monkey.

Our cousin Karen and Leah

Leah and my sister Hannah

Sad faces

The sisters Pearce

The sisters Pearce-sad faces

Karen and me

Hannah playing with Claudio

Pretty Claudio and Hannah

Anthony and Karen playing the fast version of Monopoly.

Two peas in a pod, my dad and his cousin Darwin.

Look into my eyes!

Me and Mini Me

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

How (Not) to Get a Man

See, I've been right all along, there's nothing wrong with being a bit picky! And yay, I've been doing everything right!!

How (Not) to Get a Man

Turns out a manhunt isn't the best way to land a guy. Martha Beck helps you rethink the dating game.

By Martha Beck from O, The Oprah Magazine , June 2003

The rules tell you to scheme, flatter, and play hard to get, but our favorite life coach doesn't think that will get you very far. It's time to rethink the dating game.

Day after day, as I hear single women bemoan the lack of available men, I wish ethics allowed me to set them up with my wonderful male clients who are searching, with equal frustration, for the right woman. Instead, I end up simply witnessing singles of both sexes failing to find each other. I believe this failure has much to do with the model of love-seeking most popular in our culture: the idea of romantic pursuit as a type of predation, a hunting expedition the goal of which is capture. In my experience, the way of thinking that leads to successful relationships is altogether different. It's focused on the idea that the way to find love is to become so much yourself that you find others of your own kind, with whom you can share freedom.

The Book of Love?

The predator model of love leads to a hunter's way of dating: Seek large gatherings of your prey, dangle a false self as bait, wait for an individual to stray from the herd, then pounce on him with all the wit and wile it takes to bring him down. Internet matchmaking services, singles bars, speed dating, personal ads and even blind dating all borrow from this "statistical mass" logic. I've seen clients spend years dating this way, entering one briefly exciting, painfully doomed relationship after another. This is not a numbers game. It's a soul search.

The Other Rules for Seeking Your Soul (and Its Mate)

I would encourage anyone who wants to find a soul mate to follow these three steps.

1. Know thyself. Women who are willing to hide or detach from their real selves in order to bag a man often seem to believe that the right guy will give them a sense of identity and self-confidence. This is backward. Looking for love before developing a strong sense of self is like trying to find the mate of a shoe you've never seen. Next time you're feeling fretfully single, try exploring your own nature: Write down your favorite foods or colors or songs or books or sports. Visit a therapist. Embark on a voyage of self-discovery for its own sake and because it is on that journey that you are likely to bump into the perfect traveling companion.

2. Value thyself. The single women I know are frequently advised, "Stop being so picky," "Have a better attitude," and "Lower your standards," perhaps to the point where they'll date anyone with a pulse. I believe this is precisely the wrong approach. Why? Consider our statistical friend, the bell curve. The great bulge in the middle represents areas where you are, well, average. This is also the part of you that could easily be mixed and matched with the largest number of potential mates. The skinnier upper end represents your greatest gifts, the areas where you are most talented and extraordinary. The few people who share your most exceptional characteristics are your tribe, the population that is most likely to contain your heart's partner. I suggest that you should be pickier, less accepting and more committed to the "bad attitude" that will make you seek people who are extraordinary in the same way you are. Be courteous to men who don't appeal to you, but for God's sake, don't waste your evenings—let alone your nights—with them. "Oh," conventional rule-keepers might exclaim, "you'll have to spend some nights alone!" Yes, indeed. Your pool of candidates is much smaller at the high-quality end of the bell curve, your chances of having no date on Saturday much larger if you refuse to go out with men who bore or repulse you. But if memory serves, the boredom and/or repulsion of bad dating is much worse than spending a few hours on your own.

3. Engage thyself. The authors of The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right emphasize that in order to get a guy, a woman should always act busy—for instance, when a desirable man calls, it's wise to set a timer to go off a few minutes later, then recite a memorized exit line, such as "Sorry, gotta go. I have a million things to do." Here's my crazy idea: How about actually having a million things to do? How about actually filling your life with interesting activities? If you want to attract a partner, identify what you love to do, and do it—a lot. Involved, busy people really are more attractive, so if you want to get engaged to your soul mate, start by being engaged in activities that fascinate you—especially those that have nothing to do with dating and that make you forget to go love hunting.

Monday, November 19, 2007

A very action-packed weekend!!

Friday Leah and I went to a Birthday dinner for Mikey, and then watched SpaceCamp at Eliza and Nichole’s. Fun, fun, fun! Saturday I went with Leah and Whitney to see Music Within at Meridian 16 and then ate dinner downtown, which was a ton of fun because, you know, I love them both! Then Sunday I went to church and then a fireside with Leah and Amy. I'm not exactly sure when my life became so hectic, but I'm really enjoying it and I am so much happier!!! :D

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Lars and the Real Girl

Monday was Veterans Day and since Leah, Whitney, and I all had the day off (I had the day off because of the 90+ winds in Bellingham knocking out power, not because it was a holiday-can’t complain though) we went and saw Lars and the Real Girl. You know the one with Ryan Gosling where he has a delusional relationship with an anatomically correct doll. I know, from that synopsis it sounds questionable, but it was really good! In some of the fan reviews they compared it to Little Miss Sunshine, and I totally agree. You had moments that were hysterically funny, where I was slumped over in my seat laughing, but over all, the movie had very serious aspects and dealt with serious issues. I wouldn’t recommend this for children (obviously), because of some minor adult content, but if you enjoyed Little Miss Sunshine, I’m sure you’ll really like it!

Stake Dance 11/9/07

Leah and Whitney
Leah, Whitney, and me
Leah, Whitney, me, and the DJ-apparently. I actually didn't know who he was when this was taken, and then later Leah told me who he was and I was mad that he was in the picture because of his hideous music choices that night! I mean who plays white and nerdy at a dance, that’s just stupid! Or about a million remixes, including Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in The Wall"-who does something like that?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Men and Woman are different?!?

I know that's as ludicrous as saying "Drag queens don't really look like women" which I recently heard someone say and had to made fun of them for it. But I digress, I was on msn (because it's my homepage) and I happened upon one of their featured articles. Although I wasn't extremely thrilled with the whole article, it did make some interesting points. While I was reading it, I couldn’t help but think about the Coupling “Captain Subtext” episode (which I wanted to put up here, but the only one I could find was in German and since the majority of the population doesn’t know German, I forgo the idea). I recommend the episode to anyone who doesn’t mind some mild to moderate inappropriateness, because it really shows the way men and women communicate, and what they really mean, which reminded me of in the article. Here are some of my favorite bits:

Why Can't He Hear What You're Saying?

It was a novice mistake, I admit — the kind of dumb thing you do two months into a relationship, not four years. My wife and I were having dinner with friends and I was telling a story about how her brother crashed his car. Yes, maybe I hyperbolized a little bit, played it for laughs at his expense. So when Kristen shot me her death-ray look across the table — the one that means: You have committed some gaffe, said something offensive, revealed something private, etc., and should cease and desist — I ceased and desisted.
But afterward, on the car ride home, she was still mad. "I mean, at this point you shouldn't even apologize," she said. So I didn't apologize. I said I understood. I held her hand a little in the car, and when we got home I made a bowl of ice cream and watched Big Love. Later, Kristen came into the den, all dressed for bed, and stood silently watching Bill Paxton and wife number two in flagrante. "Well," she finally snapped, "you could have at least apologized!" When I protested that she'd told me I shouldn't apologize, she said, "It would have been a good place to start."

At that moment, I became a walking marriage cliché. You know the cliché I'm talking about. It goes: My wife speaks a strange alien tongue that I, no matter how hard I try, am too dumb to learn. It was one of those moments when you identify with that line from Knocked Up: "Marriage is an unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond."

But there's a reason the cliché exists: A lot of the time we guys do need help in the "What the heck are you talking about?" department. The Everybody Loves Raymond way of explaining this phenomenon is that we men are too thick to read between the lines. And, okay, this is kind of true. Kristen will try to tell me in every possible way about presents she'd like me to get for her. She might say, "Hey, those earrings are nice!" And nine times out of 10, I do not copy. I might think, Wow, she really likes to talk about jewelry a lot or Wow, does she not realize that I'm not a woman and that I don't care about earrings? Maybe if I'm quiet for long enough she'll change the subject.

The less Raymond-y way of explaining why we don't understand you is to say that we simply have different ways of talking. Men have two modes of communication: saying what we mean and repressing what we mean. We either say, "What you said the other night really pissed me off" or we say, "Hey, wanna go see Knocked Up?" Women, on the other hand, use a little more nuance. You imply things more than men do; you depend more on subtext. I remember in the beginning of our marriage, Kristen kept telling me that I looked sexy in black underwear. It took me about two months to translate that into "Your old white underpants are graying and disgusting. Please get rid of them and replace them with something that ages better."

The problem with subtext is that too often we men just don't catch it — and then we completely misinterpret you. I hate to say this, because yes, it's yet another "Men are so dumb" cliché, but it's kind of like when you pretend to throw a ball for a dog but really put the ball behind your back. The dog (man) is too stupid to keep his eye on the ball (the hidden meaning) and goes running after nothing.

This falls under my Grand Unified Theory of Male-Female Miscommunication: We misunderstand you most often when you want something but are afraid to (or don't think you should have to) ask for it, whether that thing is compassion or a back rub. Part of the problem is that you all are a lot nicer than we are — demure in some cases, and, it must be said, passive-aggressive in others. Kristen wanted me to "get" that she wanted those earrings without her having to ask for them. But when a man misses his cue, both parties can end up pissed. You feel like you're not being treated very well, and blurt out what it is you wanted all along (but are probably too annoyed to want anymore anyway). We feel like we've been ambushed. I'd say that's the dynamic driving fully half of the fights I have with my wife.

There is a way out. And that is: Show us some mercy. We really do want to understand you. And we are often a little intimidated in the communications department, partly because we know we have a reputation for being so bad at it. But look at us. We're trying so hard! Doesn't that count for something?

And we are not entirely untrainable: Over the course of a relationship, we'll (hopefully) pick up a few things. Recently, my friend Scott had a fight with his girlfriend about whether or not they were going to have dinner with his mother the following week. He'd been in this relationship long enough to know that what his girlfriend was really complaining about was not whether they'd see his mother, but his inability to plan anything more than five hours beforehand. So he said, "Let's plan right now for next week's dinner." That made everyone happy.

Even when your rules don't seem logical to us, we'll learn them by rote if necessary. The snafu about my wife and her brother, for example, taught me to apologize even when she tells me not to. Another rule I recently committed to memory: When the woman in your life has a crappy day, just listen and sympathize and express venomous contempt for those who have wronged her rather than trying to explain why it wasn't so bad.

Of course, that brings up a caveat. A man is not above gaming the system — that is, pretending not to understand what he doesn't really want to understand. "I didn't know you wanted those earrings!" he'll protest, instead of admitting, "I didn't want to spend that much money." After all, just because we're dumb doesn't mean we're stupid.

Lost in Translation

What he really hears when your lips are moving.
You say: "Ugh, my boss is horrible. I had the worst day."
You mean: "I really need to vent about my day."
He hears: "Tell me how to fix my relationship with my boss."

You say: "Hey, can we talk?"
You mean: "I have something important to tell you."
He hears: "You screwed up, buddy."

You say: "Oh, those shoes don't go with that belt. Why don't you wear the brown ones?"
You mean: "I just want to help you look good."
He hears: "Aw, the widdle baby can't dwess himself!"
You say: "Let's straighten up in here."
You mean: "Let's straighten up in here."
He hears: "I resent that you're a pig."

You say: "I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. You must feel terrible."
You mean:"I want you to know I empathize with you."
He hears: "I feel sorry for you, you sad sack of a man."

You say: "Do you think that woman's hot?"
You mean: "Tell me that I'm hot."


Men's ability to process language and understand what's being said to them begins to diminish starting in their 30s. Women retain this ability until menopause.
Source: Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget by Marianne J. Legato, M.D.

Why doesn't he see what I need?

The love expert says... He takes everything personally.

"If I call a friend and say, 'I'm having a terrible day,' she'll drop everything and ask, 'Are you okay?' A woman hears complaints as an invitation to move closer. But a man hears complaints as an indication that he's failed. He measures his very worth by his ability to provide and protect, so in his mind, if he were doing his job, she wouldn't be unhappy.

"Does this mean a woman can never complain to a man? Of course not! Men really want to please women. All you have to say is, 'Would you help me with...' or 'I would love it if....' Go beyond the complaint or criticism and get at the desire. High-maintenance women don't scare men. Men actually like it because it gives them a clear set of rules for how to improve, and they can tell when they're succeeding."

—Pat Love, coauthor of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

Why doesn't he really listen?

The psychologist says... He's too busy trying to fix the problem.

"There's a difference between how men and women process stress. In a woman, stress produces a reaction in the emotional center of the brain. Talking stimulates the production of serotonin to relax the brain, so she'll instinctively talk in order to feel better.

"For a man, stress triggers a reaction in the action center of the brain. So when you talk to him about a problem, he's so intent on taking action to fix it that there's no way he can actually hear your point of view. But if you tell him that the solution is just to listen, he can relax. He doesn't have to hunt for a solution, so he can listen, and maybe even empathize."

—John Gray, Ph.D., REDBOOK Love Network expert and author of the upcoming Why Mars and Venus Collideg

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Work Halloween Party

What a company to work for, by no means is there ever a dull moment and any excuse to dress up is never wasted!
Apparently Cavemen can read! David dressed to the nines while searching through the file room.
Priscilla and Nick, but wait, which witch is which?
Two glamour girls but from different eras. Such a large amount of beads you might go blind.
Priscilla in the midst of casting what can only be presumed to be one very powerful spell.
Always be wary of a man interested in your hair. He might just pull you back to his cave. Don't let those costumes fool you, we're as tough as nails!